Tag: Relationships
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When You Were the One Who Pulled Away
Healing Avoidant Attachment in the Runner-Chaser Dynamic In the previous article, we explored the experience of the one who stayed – the anxious partner – in the runner-chaser dynamic. In this piece, we turn toward the other side of the same pattern: the one who pulled away. We established earlier that the anxious-avoidant dynamic is…
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When You Were the One Who Stayed
Healing Anxious Attachment in the Runner-Chaser Dynamic There is a particular kind of heartbreak that does not end with a dramatic goodbye. No final conversation. No fighting. No clear closure. Just…silence. You continue functioning. You show up at work. You respond to messages. You move through your day, but internally, something has collapsed. You were…
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4 Letter Words for Diwali!
I am on top of the mountain. Fairy lights are winking at me in the valley below. I imagine gentle laughter and the sound of tiny tinkling bells drifting up from them. Here I am surrounded by angels, I think! Or maybe my inner voice speaks. There are messages for me. And maybe for you. Listen.…
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5 Lessons to Learn From Losing a Loved One
People say that the death of a loved one is the greatest loss that can be experienced. I think losing the living is much harder. Here are some things I have learned from the losses over the years; mine as well as those of others who have trusted me enough to have shared theirs with…
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On ‘A Romantic’s Perspective on Love’
I was recently in a discussion on loving with two distinct sides where one – the romantics – were laughed at and the other – the rationalists – were convinced that they are superior with their arguments based on reason and logic. I backed off after a few minutes as it was entertaining to simply…
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On Saying ‘Thank You! I Love You.’
I found the man I would marry when I had just turned nineteen. And I did not have to seek him out, nor snatch him out of someone else’s embrace, or worry about him belonging with someone else whose territory I was poaching. I did not have to compete to win him over. Neither did…
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On ‘Waiting’
Things are as they are: Our reality is unique to each one of us as individuals. We are each an island; isolated and independent, complete and proud of our individualism. Yet, we desire to fall in step with a few others in our life’s journey, just to make it a pleasant shared experience. And so…
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On Endings and Beginnings
I am grateful to the friend who reminded me that without pain, we would never know joy; without grief, we would not know love. They are two sides of the same coin; inseparable. Images of my father flood my mind at unexpected moments in the day, from a quiet coffee break to the middle of…
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On ‘Thoughts of a Woozy Wandering Mind’
I have spent four days laid up in bed alternating between being completely knocked out with sleep medication and a floating, dreamy wakefulness where I am not quite sure that I am awake. My muscles are so relaxed that I am not able to squeeze a lemon into my lemon tea. While my brain is…
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On ‘What Goes On In My Head When You Push My Buttons…’
On some days, my supply of cuss words is inadequate to meet demand. I am tempted to productively use my time researching appropriate ones that fit my current situation. And feel so overwhelmed that ‘wtf’ becomes my highest and most evolved expression of feelings, flashing in my mind with each breath, which is incidentally around…
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On Staying Sane
It’s amazing the demands that life makes on you. And the toll it takes. The things we do, or don’t do, have a cumulative effect on our well-being. There are so many roles to play out; so many things to balance; so many things to stay on top of. Nearly a fortnight ago, and not…
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On Finding and Being Found: The Little Lost Toy
The little lost toy was a tiny person. It struggled to get up on the bench and finally made it. Ah! The view was much better: he could see way more in all directions. There was a gurgling fountain to the right and a big moss covered rock to the left. It had just rained…
The Right to be Wrong 